Here I am....BLOGGING

Im here easing my pain, I use to write everytime I feel so alone even for a while.

Suddenly my life change...and its really painful to lose somebody who share almost all your life with. I really miss my mom, whole my life I spend with her from stepping into this world until now. It was just month ago when I was happy with her smilling and laughing with her. She almost know all of me even my wildest secret, she's been so very dear to me, my bestfriend, my shock absorber and my dearest mom. I been so down when all of a sudden she have to go. Even for just a glimpse I never figure out that she'll be gone.

Pain is drifting, I have so many question. I'm trying to be strong and somehow forgetting reality but it really knock on my door. Everytime I went home and spending time alone. I really missed my mama, I always stare at her picture and whisper everything I want to say. I have so many plans, regrets and question that still wanting to be answered.

Time will heal all wounds but I know it will took for a while to ease the pain of reality. I somehow wanna erase all the details of it, I know that mama knows everything deep inside me. I'm not questioning God's authority but I its painful to accept every inch of it.

If happiness comes in an instant, death comes as well.

I hope I can get rid of pain deep within me, I never want to put blame to anybody even myself but all I want to lessen it bit by bit.


I miss my MAMA...

LHIE

My Hubby....

Picture***Picture***

Memoirs....with my ANELCI friends....

Whats new?

I been through a lot... Im back at the office again after a long sick leave during my pregnancy, it was so hard, it was a high risk pregancy. My OB-gyne advised me to rest for about 3 mo. which I did for about 2 mo. but unfortunately after 2 mo. i got miscarriage. It was to annoying after a long wait, after taking care of it for about month it was just end up just like that. 2 months bedrest is so hard, I felt very bad, 6 years of waiting and it was my second time. I was very disappointed but I still hope for it soon. It was really to depressing, but everything in life has its own purpose why I have to went through all of this things. This really make me so tough, strong enough to withstand whatever trials I have in my life. Now im back with my normal life, with my work and with my hubby...

It never end up there... I was pessed of with my hubby's officemate, I was so blind to let my husband go out with this person, which really influence him doing nasty things. I felt really bad, I never realize that I am missing something, never think that it will be this worst. Like a typical husband and wife fight why should I got to undergo all this things? I know its just common in marriage but I was really hard, I hate the feeling of it, maybe its because I already felt it before. Knowing my husband I never imagine that he will got a chance to do such action unless he is being influenced by those immoral person....

I felt really bad, and I come up to a point thinking of giving up our relationship. Co'z I was emotionally disturb and I really dont want to be in the same position which I already did before the term "Nakakasawa" explains everything. I already given him  the second chance, but if everything is still the same I just cant imagine life with miserable relationship, I never got a chance to have a peace of mind. I really love my Husband and I really cant imagine life without him, his my precious treasure but I just hope he can realize that....

I love you ... King